a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
