You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
