Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
