If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
