i barfeds in our rink
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
