just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
