I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You made out with two different species that night
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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