Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
