i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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