I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
