I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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