Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
