He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
