let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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