dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
