You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
