And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
