Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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