11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
