Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
