She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
