I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
