We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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