I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
