Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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