You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
