i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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