is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
