He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
