6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i came on her dog
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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