I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
