God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
