I have demons in me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
