help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
