my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
