I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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