drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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