Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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