Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
