Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
