he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
