So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
