She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
