I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Did you just see the Batmobile???
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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