I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
