is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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