Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
