He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
