Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
