new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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