Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This is my gift to your gina
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
